gryffindorseeker's imagination journal.

It's been a while, eh? I admit I've been a terrible blogger and an even worse updater of fanfiction, but real life has been terribly busy (and for once, productive) so I've been doing my best to participate in the House Cup in the forums and occasionally do a bit of writing. Speaking of segues¹, I've begun a new (but often delayed) story about 17-year-old Albus Dumbledore and his friendship with Gellert Grindelwald. I'm very excited about it because it's quite a dramatic departure from the slapstick humor of We Gryffies and it's been in the works for years now. You can check it out here (M) if you like, and while there is a Contains Slash warning, it will be such a minor part of later chapters that I doubt it will make even the most slash-averse readers uncomfortable. The warning is mostly precautionary.

I haven't updated We Gryffies in a while and honestly, the next chapter won't be completed anytime soon, and because I feel wretched for the lack of Gryffietastic content out there, I thought I'd (feebly) try to rectify the situation. I've often been asked if there will be a sequel to the story², and while the answer is no, I do have two titles for the hypothetical trilogy that this saga should never become. Below are the titles and premises to the imaginary sequel and threequel, and I think you'll see why these stories should never be written:

You Gryffies: Narrated by Dawlish the ex-Auror, this sequel would chronicle his divorce proceedings and battle with alcohol dependency, and only mention the Gryffies once or twice, while Dawlish is damning them all to hades for their juvenile shenanigans in his classroom.

Dem Gryffiez: This threequel would center around the life of Lewd Wig, from his upper middle class beginnings to his ascendency to hip-hop superstardom. If 8 Mile had been produced by Walt Disney, you'd have Lewd Wig's biopic³. (The Gryffies would not be mentioned once, making the title irrelevant.)

So there you go. Hopefully that made you chuckle, and if not, at least I'm protecting the world from these terrible ideas by not writing them. Right?


¹Not the Segway brand of motorized scooters, mind you, but the art of subtle transition-making in discourse.
²Why anyone would want one, I haven't the foggiest.
³Or autobiography, as it were.